I Found Tinder Hell - The guy with the neck tatoo

By: Anonymous

People Do Fall in Love Online

I was reading a recent EatWorkPlay piece about how a twenty-something guy met the love of his life on Tinder and I must admit it was super touching. There's nothing more awesome than people falling in love especially from the likes of a hook-up site like Tinder.  As an older millennial (between 28-34), online dating has always been the "wave"--you know, the thing to do.  I actually met my last serious boyfriend in a BBM Chatroom (that's right, Blackberry Messenger).  We had a few mutual friends, exchanged a few pics and started each morning with a "good morning" text the following 3 years.  Ironically, it ended after I found out that he had another girlfriend that he had met via Twitter. Let’s just say, my enthusiasm for online dating was pretty low.

I’m Single and Mingling in Charlotte

Fast-forward to now, I'm single and mingling in Charlotte. I’m proud to say that I am a catch. I take care of myself, I am ambitious, and I am a power player in town. Finding love hasn't been an issue for me, at least I didn’t think so; until I realized that I am the only one of my friends that isn't happily married with 2.5 kids. But until then, I'm an eligible bachelorette with much to offer and I’m taking advantage of this time to date hot guys. I've always been into different types of men; tall, short, black, white, yellow, whatever, as long as you're attractive and you give me the "tingles," I'm open.

OMG, Tinder is Lit!

So one boring evening, a girlfriend from work talked me into creating a profile on Tinder.  My initial thoughts were "Eh, another hook-up site that screams 'I need help meeting men'".  But after a few "swipe-rights", I came across a really cute guy named "Mac".  He had a close haircut, with dimples and tattoos.  I looked through his pics and saw that he had a dog, a family he seemingly loved, and he was also an avid basketball player.  So, I swiped right and got a match!  He responded immediately. Which was kind of hot (some jerks wait for you to initiate the conversation). My first match was super-hot and looked like my celebrity crush, Chris Brown.  I'm usually not the one to date men with a ton of tattoos; especially if they're above the chest, but he was sexy, so he was an exception.  His lips, the tattoos, the swag had me like, "OMG, Tinder is lit!"  After a few flirty texts, he asked if he could call me and take me out.

I Met “Mac”

funny-tinder-profile-animal-hospital.jpg

Here is a little background on "Mac": He was fresh out of Johnson & Wales, with a degree in Culinary Arts (at least that’s what he told me) and was looking for a promising gig at a hip restaurant in NoDa or somewhere.  I was really feeling the vibe so I agreed to meet him.  We met at Infused (a cool, bar on Seventh, St.) and ordered a round of drinks and just talked about ourselves.  He never pulled his phone out and he constantly gazed into my eyes.  He told me that I was prettier in person, and that he liked my shoes and my perfume.  He knew exactly what he was doing and I was glad that he did.  After the third round of drinks, he was rubbing my thigh and invited me to his apartment upstairs.  I politely declined (I am somewhat of a lady) but I promised to see him again. 

“Mac” 2.0 Surfaced

A few days later, we met at the same bar and had a few more drinks, and the encounter was almost as engaging except this time he had his phone out and was texting in between our pauses.  I observed for a while until I jokingly said, "Dude, are you on a date with your phone or me?"  He apologized, but he kept texting!  While he was on his phone, I started looking at the "art" on this neck, there was something on his neck that looked like a collage. I was so fascinated at the fact that he actually had the audacity to have a neck tat.  Only guys I knew like that were convicts, lowlifes, rappers, or tattoo artists.  I realized that I didn't know much about this guy!  Once he finally put his phone away, and he made more of an effort to keep my attention, the tingles came back.

Calling in Sick = Stood Up

He walked me to the car and promised to make it up to me over the weekend.  We'd made plans to go to dinner and he told me to wear my sexiest dress.  I was super excited, my first real date in months and he seemed so into me. 

Thursday night rolled around and he told me to choose a place and he'd make the reservations.  By

Friday evening, I'd gotten my hair blown out, bought a fierce dress from South Park Mall and was ready to show up, feeling like Beyonce. 

Saturday evening was finally upon us and earlier in the day, he'd told me to meet him at Upstream at 7pm.  I was there and ready to conquer the night. My backless dress showed all of my curves and tattoos (yes, I have a couple too) and the 4-inch designer pumps were sending not so subtle hints. I sent him a text to tell him I was there but I didn't get a response (the texts went from blue to green actually). So I called him, at this point it was 7:15 and he was still a no-show.  That motherf*cker stood me up. 

The next day, he texted me and told me he'd gotten sick and couldn’t call me because his phone died.  Remember when I said the only guys I knew with neck tattoos were either convicts, low-life’s, rappers or tattoo artists? Well, I realized I'd just met one more low-life.  I don't plan to date any more guys with neck tats. He ruined my Chris Brown dating fantasies and any interest that I had in online dating. Although Ryan and Allison, the Tinder love story mentioned above, found love through the app; I am done with that. Men hide behind the app so they don’t have to show how much of a hot mess they are. He got my hopes up and I showed up ready to shake it like Beyonce. I should’ve known the man with the neck tattoo was the devil in disguise. I don’t dance with the devil.

Signed:  "Spitfire in a world so cold".