Bachelorette Recap: Separating the Men from the Boys

The Bachelorette Recap: Week 4

“Separating the Men from the Boys”

all the things you’re thinking while watching The Bachelorette, but don’t want to say

Picking up where things left off last week, CHAD IS LEAVING!

The rest of the guys are obnoxious and have a “funeral” with his protein powder.

Chad comes back for one more threat against Jordan, who tries to take the high road and let Chad apologize, but you know that’s not happening. Chad says all the other men “made him say things he didn’t want to and get violent.”

Please, Chad. Get your hands off Jordan.

P.S. Evan still wants a shirt and asks Chad if he has his wallet on him. What a dweeb.

Like I said last week, the guys will now see Alex, not only as an American hero, but the hero of the house. They even throw him a little party and call him a “dragon slayer” for getting rid of Chad. They remind me of 18-year-old frat boys and I can’t handle it.

Alex says he’s “surviving another day” and I roll my eyes. You can say that for every day you are in the military and combat, but using it for the Bachelorette when you really have been in war is just over the top.

With Chad gone, the cocktail party really is a lot more fun.

Chase plays bubble soccer with her. LOVE HIM.

Robby makes a wish with her and kisses here where some other guys can supposedly see it. They get upset about this. Hey guys, welcome to the show where you’re ALL fighting for the same girl.

James F reads her a poem that he wrote her awhile ago. Do this many guys really write poems?!?!

Luke says he’s already falling for her. It’s a real nice moment, but he’s just too emotional for me.

But this is the only part I really remember from the cocktail party:

Hot damn Jordan.

Daniel and James F. go home (despite his poem)

Daniel complains that the show is based on personality instead of looks, because he is the best looking and his personality sucks. So many things to say about this.

  1. You’re not the best looking.
  2. You definitely have a weird personality.
  3.  IT’S SUPPOSED TO BE ABOUT PERSONALITY!

JoJo then tells the rest of the guys that they are “going to where South America’s most elite go to play.” I guess that’s Punta del Este, Uruguay. I’ve never heard of the place, but then again, I’m not one of South America’s most elite.

Jordan FINALLY gets a one-on-one date. His date card says “let’s seal the date.” All I can think from this is that they’re going to get it on even though I know they won’t.

This is how people feel about Jordan getting a one-on-one.

Understandably so.

Jordan tells JoJo he’s falling in love with her, but then they have a pretty tough conversation.

Pretty much, Jordan dated a girl on and off when he was younger and doing the whole pro-football thing. Like many athletes, especially young ones, he cared more about sports and was pretty immature when it came to his relationship. Jordan says no physical cheating happened, but he enjoyed talking to other girls during his relationship.

Meanwhile, back at the hotel, Vinny is running a little barber shop with gossip magazines that the guys are all looking at.

Mind you, this is what I, a 26-year-old FEMALE, do when I’m getting my hair done.

Anyways, one of the magazines includes a story from JoJo’s ex saying she is still in love with him. The guys are pretty ticked off about this, but JoJo’s top contenders (Chase, Robby, Luke, and Jordan don’t seem to believe it.)

JoJo confronts the guys about it and my heart breaks for her. If you watched last season of The Bachelor, you know this is the same ex that left roses and a note on her doorstep before her hometown date with Ben. I know what it’s like to be the nice person after a breakup and then have someone just manipulate you. It SUCKS.

The group date doesn’t really keep me entertained at all.

All that comes out of it, is Alex finds a new enemy in Derek.

While all the other men are on the group date, Jordan and Robby are back at the hotel getting facials.

Before her date with Robby, JoJo is trying to play hide and seek with a dog, but the dog couldn’t care less.

So I really didn’t care about Robby before this date, but now I LOVE him.

He is the perfect mix of fun and spontaneous, but knows when to be serious and has just the right emotion. Well, until he tells JoJo he loves her. BRO, IT’S BEEN ONE MONTH AND THIS IS YOUR FIRST ONE-ON-ONE DATE.

I know that people say “when you know, you know” but I had a couple boyfriends in my early 20s who told me they loved me after three weeks and I quickly broke up with them.

JoJo cancels this week’s cocktail party and sends Vinny, Evan, and Grant home.

For whatever reason, they ALL cried.

While the tabloid gossip was really hard for JoJo, I think she has really realized what type of man she wants, but it looks like there’s still lots of drama to come and I feel like all of her front runners are going to have downfalls.

I CAN’T WAIT!

Let me know what you thought about the episode and who your favorites are!