It’s that time of the year. Hot cocoa, leggings, and riding boots are flooding your Instagram feed. Of course, after every tenth Starbucks picture, there’s another engagement announcement. As they say, “Winter is coming,” and engagement season is freaking here!
Get your gear together and be ready to brave the storm. It’s time for Facebook announcements, long manicure lines full of hopeful souls, and an empty Ben & Jerry’s section at the grocery store. Need help navigating through the Facebook milestones of babies and rings? Don’t worry, I’ve got you. Here’s Part 1 of our Engagement Season Survival Guide:
1. Block all of your High School & College Friends.
Yes, this is savage and my soul is as black as my espresso. I am all about lessening the likelihood of the Facebook timeline blues. Even if you’re not single, the daily engagement notifications gets a little overwhelming. Like, how happy can you be when the third person found the love of their life today? Did everyone get on a conference call and decide to propose the same week?
2. Plan Girls Nights.
You probably felt too bad to block all of your old friends and saw another engagement notification. Well, that’s your fault. Here’s the best solution - GIRLS NIGHT! My favorite version of this is wine night and potluck dinner. There’s nothing like some good comfort food, wine, and your girlfriends. It’s a nice serotonin boost.
3. Be ready for the questions.
“So when are you getting engaged?” and “Oh, are you next?”
Be like a ninja and get ready to dodge all of those nosy questions. The reality is that no one really cares; they probably just want to know if they are doing better than you. Here’s a few of my favorite responses:
Answer 1: “Girl, I’m just focusing on my wine and my work. Life is going well though; I just did x,y & z at work.” This is when their eyes will roll and they’ll hungrily move on for the next single girl’s spirit to crush.
Answer 2: “No, I’m not next.” Then just stare at them until they feel as uncomfortable as they should for asking you that silly question.
Answer 3: Here’s a nice answer: “Hopefully one day. Pray for me and my future family!”
Answer 4: (My personal favorite,) just laugh and say, “Nah.”
4. Wine. Period.
Remember that Total Wine (and some grocery stores) give you a discount when you buy by the case. I’m not suggesting for you to consume it all at once (in fact, please don’t,) but there’s nothing wrong with a well-curated stash.
Be wary when viewing the bachelor. This season the polarizing Nick Viall will be fascinating to watch. The girls are gorgeous and charming but if I know the bachelor nation, there will be at least one crazy in the bunch. I mean...do we remember #TheMouth from last season? Talk about some entertainment. Regardless, don’t get caught up in the comparison game. You are fabulous and your boyfriend doesn’t have 20 other girlfriends. Let’s be real, who’s the real winner here?
6. Be your best self.
It’s the new year so put down the fried chicken (you can have a bite though) and work on your goals. That’s right. The real way to punch engagement season in the tulle is by improving your life. Trust me, by time you get in that routine, you really won’t have time to scroll through milestones or see #Feyonce t-shirts.
Need something to tie you over before part 2 comes out? Check out our Twitter pal Jen Glantz’s article on Huffington Post - All My Friends Are Engaged #EngagementSeasonSurvival #HALP